I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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