She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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