I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
