sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
