Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
