just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
