So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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