a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
