Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
