i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
