Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
