Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
