Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
