I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
