just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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