Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
