just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
