Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
