I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
