He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
