its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize