Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can text with my tongue
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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