$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
