Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
