My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
