How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
