have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
