my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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