omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
