North Korea, Best Korea!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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