either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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