It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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