Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
