Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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