well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
