it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
