please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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