So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
