Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
