Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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