He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
