my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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