I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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