I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
