This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can you repeat that, but with context?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
