She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
