white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
