how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
