Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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