Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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