I'm laying in your front yard are you home
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
