Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
